:}

:} Kristina

"

The second time I overdosed,
my body couldn’t handle it,
and I threw it all up.
I texted my dad saying,
“I think I took a little too many pills”.

And every time I’ve overdosed,
I always downplay it.
I’ve always tried to act
like it wasn’t a big deal.

That having the urge to swallow a whole bottle of pills
was something daily that normal people do.
My dad hurried home and saw the empty bottle
and he shook me to make sure I was awake.
I kept mumbling “I threw it up.. I threw it up..”
while I was drifting off to sleep.
He had to wake me up every 15 minutes
to make sure I was okay.

Let me tell you now,
it is a big deal.

The third time I overdosed,
I slept through first and second period
and passed out in the counselor’s office.
I didn’t want to go to the ER.
I just wanted to go home.
All I wanted to do was sleep.
Again, I just said,
“I think I took too many pills this morning.”

The fifth time I overdosed,
my dad found the empty pill box.
I hallucinated, I had a fever.
I couldn’t move my legs.
All I could do was scream,
“Don’t take me to the hospital this time.
I don’t want to go!”

I became friends with a girl who had overdosed
she’s one of my best friends now
and when I heard she was hospitalized as well,
it just makes me realize how real this problem is.

A couple months ago, another friend of mine overdosed.
Do you realize how fucked up it is,
that I’ve done it so many times
that I know the exact procedure that she’s going to go through?
She messaged me saying,
“I took a bunch of pills,
but I just realized I didn’t want to die.
I don’t know what to do.
Help.”

And I’m screaming at her over the screen
that she should throw it up and call 911
because sometimes when someone you love
decides that they hate the world,
that’s all you can do.
You can’t teleport through the phone.
You can’t travel through the internet.
You can’t be there to hold them
and take them to the hospital.

Your love is not charcoal that can
absorb all their poison in their life.
I know, love that you would have done all you could.
Sometimes words aren’t enough.
Sometimes love isn’t enough.
Sometimes a person needs to try dying
to know that that’s not really what they want.
There’s nothing you could have done.
You’ve done all you could.
Just keep loving them.

But you see the thing is,
I got lucky.
I’ve made it back from 5 overdoses
without a scratch on me.
But that’s not always the case.
My favorite teacher’s stepdaughter
locked herself in her room and overdosed.

To this day,
her stepmother still has a scar on her heart.
To this day,
on the anniversary of her death,
her stepmother still stays home from school
on the anniversary of her death.
Her sister is in a bad mental state,
and so is her biological mother.
Her family has fallen apart.

You overdose because you think
you will get a peaceful release from death.
It’s not peaceful.
It is not like falling asleep.
It is convulsions, vomiting,
muscle spasms, fevers,
and sharp stomach pains.

An overdose is not instant.

Hollywood has you believing,
that an overdose
is how a lady should exit the world.
As quiet as she came in,
Peaceful and unnoticed.

You will go out kicking and screaming
and wishing you hadn’t taken them.

"

Reblogged from mala-educacion

6:03 p.m. (I think I’m done overdosing)

Dedicated to Rae

(via thewastedgeneration)

(Source: expresswithsilence)

Reblogged from mala-educacion

(Source: hautedeath)

There are 2 types of people who hate successful women.

Reblogged from mala-educacion

mala-educacion:

beretgurl:

cali-cocaine:

A women who will never be one. A man who can’t afford one.

facts.

!!!!!!!

Reblogged from mala-educacion

(Source: epic-lee)

Reblogged from mala-educacion

miketalladen:

In love on South Congress - Austin, TX - April 2011

tokomon:

dumbesttweets:

She has failed at life. I hope authorities show up at her door.


yikes


Yeah you dont fucking say things like that.

Reblogged from mala-educacion

tokomon:

dumbesttweets:

She has failed at life. I hope authorities show up at her door.

yikes

Yeah you dont fucking say things like that.

Reblogged from mala-educacion

(Source: fapngo)

xunodetantosx:

come with me and follow me… http://xunodetantosx.tumblr.com/
ven conmigo y sigueme… http://xunodetantosx.tumblr.com/

Reblogged from mala-educacion

xunodetantosx:

come with me and follow me… http://xunodetantosx.tumblr.com/

ven conmigo y sigueme… http://xunodetantosx.tumblr.com/

mala-educacion:

quietobservation:

YES. Some days. LOTS of days.

Me right now

Omg

Reblogged from mala-educacion

mala-educacion:

quietobservation:

YES. Some days. LOTS of days.

Me right now

Omg

(Source: wasbella102)

Reblogged from mala-educacion

Reblogged from mala-educacion

mala-educacion:

OMG yesssss

(Source: the-fuckmelikethis)

Reblogged from mala-educacion

phantomviolet:

THIS JUST BLEW ME AWAY

(Source: garlogan78)

Reblogged from mala-educacion

eejin:

wahh so cute

wish i could see him here !

(Source: everythingroyalty)

"For I have known them all already, known them all—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons."

Reblogged from mala-educacion

― T.S. Eliot (via psych-quotes)

"My mother taught me
the distinct smell before the rain,
the promise of cleansing.
Didn’t anyone warn you
I’m what natural disasters
are named after?
I am a river,
good luck controlling me
good luck slowing me down.
There isn’t an ounce of age
to my soul."

Reblogged from mala-educacion

Michelle K., Aries in the Mornings. (via michellekpoems)